Hi,
I have an issue and with the holidays and family time coming up, I need some advice about it.
My brother-in-law (we'll call him JOE) is L-A-Z-Y!!! He's been married to my sister for almost 10 years and I don't think he's EVER had a job during the time they've been together.
He smokes (my sister doesn't). Their kid is in school full time and they are ALWAYS broke. My sister works full time. He doesn't clean the house, make the dinners, do the laundry, NOTHING. He just plays computer games on the laptop that she bought with last years tax return. But, when the car breaks down, or they can't pay the rent, my sister has to borrow money from either me or another relative.
On top of that, he's not very nice to her, calls her "fat" and she has on more than one occassion caught him engaged in inappropriate behavior with other real and/or cyber women on the laptop SHE bought with her tax return last year.
Here's the issue, during the holidays, we always host (their place is too small to accomodate the relatives). My wife puts on a great spread and we supply MOST of the food. Sometimes people will choose to bring a side dish or an appetizer but the majority of it (90%) is covered by us. Sometimes my brother-in-law comes, sometimes he doesn't. I guess it just depends on his mood.
But when he does decide to grace us with his presence, he sits his butt down and doesn't move until it's time to eat. When he's done eating (this is not dining room style, it's everybody pull up a chair where they can) Table, living room, card table, breakfast bar, etc. - When he finishes eating, (and believe me, for all the food he takes, it takes a while) He leaves his plate where ever he happened to be eating. He does nothing to clean up after himself OR his kid.
THEN, he ALWAYS want's to bring home at least a meals worth (if not more) of left overs. Sometimes he asks, and sometimes he just helps himself to the tupperware and baggies, fills them and takes them.
ALSO, when he DOESNT show up, his wife (my sister) says, "Joe, wants me to bring some of the food home for him". And honestly, I just don't think that's right. What should I do?
Signed:
Holiday Hostess
Ms. Politically Correct says:
Dear Holiday Hostess,
I believe most of us have been taught good manners, and we wouldn't think of putting any hostess that has gone through all the trouble of preparing a great meal in that position. That being said . . . Since you know that whether "Joe" shows up or not, you'll be asked to send food to their home, perhaps you should just make sure that there is always a little extra prepared, and ask your sister to bring along some tupperware so that you can fill it for her. That way you're not giving up your tupperware AND your leftovers. You could gently coach your sister, by including in their "take home package" the recipe's for all of the scrumches food you prepare, with a note that says "Sorry that I'm unable to send alot of the left overs home with you, but I've included the recipe for each dish so that you are sure to get your fill". Merry Christmas
Miss Politically Flawed says:
Dear Holiday Pushover,
What's your address?? I'm kinda hungry!
Having read the above response from Politically correct, I agree with one thing. I would send my sister and brother-in-law home with a care package too. Here's what it would include:
- It would be a LARGE box, wrapped up with about 100 3ft sections of Duct tape (so every time he finds an end, and starts tearing, it wouldn't get him very far)
- In the LARGE box would be a Suitcase. In the suitcase would be:
- A photograph of all the food you served at the dinner
- The "employment" section of a local news paper (better yet, a FAR AWAY newspaper)
- A note that reads: "Dear 'Joe', I see you can work real hard to get to what you thought was FREE food, But, instead you are getting FREE advise. YOU TOO could have all this and more if you got off your lazy ass and got a job, I'm tired of supporting you. Should THAT not be an option, then please feel free to use this FREE suitcase to move on and stop being a dead weight around my sister's neck and a poor example of a man to my nephew."
- Another small box with a note to your sister. In the note, it would contain instructions on how to lock her computer, the URL address to "Sugar Daddys. com" and a small pitchfork to remind her that she needs to clean the bullshit out of her life.
